King Creosote & Laura Hird - Where and When

A musical rediscovery and remembrance at just how fantastic this album still is. A brilliant collaboration of literary and lyrical Scottish talent with this track being a personal favourite.

After months of preparation The Cleikum Club finally reconvened after over a 200 year absence. Come on in the polymaths, entrepreneurs, free thinkers, iconoclasts and the passionate - and come they did.. Many of the organiser's fears were alleviated within the first half hour of congress - for what was first, unfortunately, perceived as being a terribly high-brow event (as much as we tried to avoid it) quickly descended to a decidedly low-brow and, therefore, hugely charming and entertaining affair. Topics ranging from the preservation of the Scottish vernacular, bees, baws, poets and stockings – the nichts festivities were sure to be gallus. The evening was a huge success punctuated by banter and back chat, table banging and impromptu singing (thank you Tom Shields for Johnnie Scobie’s ‘Doon the Broomielaw’) and everyone left meat-like an claith-like! 

After a braw introduction from one of the founding members and our compère for the evening Neil Butler who also introduced our hostess Carol Wright, one of the first orders of business was the unveiling of a ‘Museum of Cleikum' artefact 'The Horn of Cleikum' - an original, ancient relic found on the very site of the old Cleikum Inn in Peebles. Legend has it that this is the very antiquity that Sir Walter Scott himself used at the club. Many comments were made regarding not only it's provenance but also it's good condition after all this time - it obviously has the club's gift of longevity and substance and its heritage should not be questioned!

The Horn of Cleikum
 

Neil Butler

Carol Wright

Tam Shields ''a man as old as The Horn of Cleikum''

Enlightening and knackie should be used to describe Tam's wee donner (no - not the kebab) round the Scottish vernacular, if not least for his lack of technological skills which found him being able to operate the microphone correctly after10 minutes of speaking. Observations were made that Glasgow's use of language has an 'in yer coupin' kind of quality about it with the word 'pal', despite its connotations is, quite frankly, more often than not - not a friendly term in the colloquial. Tam's reference to the  more grammatical side of the Scots language  was punctuated by the ubiquitous use of the typically Scottish double positive statement ''aye - right'' is, in fact, a double negative. Now don't  get me wrong here - what was put toward the Club was not a language lesson - more of a social commentary on the usage, the effect, the importance and the identity that forms and goes hand in hand with having a vernacular language and how the Glaswegians in particular take ownership of it. The most important message to be gleaned from Tam's words was that the Glasgow patter should be preserved and not left to fade away by ''gi'en it laldy'' (no again - not the supermarket)

Tam Shields

Michael The Beekeeper/Publican

After a brief interlude where the members enjoyed the first of their food courses, the night proceeded with Michael - self confessed, part-time bee-botherer and publican - not that the two professions are linked in any way. The question 'What is Glasgow?' in terms of the bee population? Well, one could argue it has the potential to be a bee haven. Michael spoke of the work which is needed to protect the declining bee numbers. If you have a flat roof, a bit of outdoor space, a back close - why haven't you got a bee-hive? Urban bee-keeping is what is going to save the bee population - 50% of which has declined in only 15 years. Michael put it bluntly when he said ''bees pollinate 30% of all the food in the world - and am a publican who sells an awfae lot a Magners''. Now if that's a statement that doesn't define Glasgow I don't know what is! Michael's words very gratefully received by the Club and an overwhelming number of people have now pledged their support to the organisation by offering their free space to keep a hive of their own - and - as Michael put it ''the bees wullnae bother you - they jist wannae dae bee stuff''. For more information about what you can do to help please visit www.johnnysgarden.co.uk

Michael 'Bee Man'

Peter - Artist/Intellect/Irishman

After being thoroughly fed and watered by Stravaigin by this point - the alcoholic lubrication of tongues means it is difficult for our compère Mr Butler to get the members' attention - even with the aid of The Horn of Cleikum. Once order has been restored we come to our second-last speaker who has also given up on the use of the podium made from Sri Lankan wood bathed in the sea of Cleikum and decides on a wholly more energetic canvassing of the room in his quest to answer the question 'What is Glasgow?'. He also states that ''what is said in The Cleikum Club stays in The Cleikum Club'' - I keep my fingers crossed and only partly promise to abide by these rules. Peter is at the tipping point of having lived in Glasgow for longer than he resided in his birthplace and so he has decided to mark the occasion by explaining Glasgow in his experience as an artist. Peter's point was that we imagine Glasgow, we reinvent it and re-imagine it every day - ''the city doesn't exist until you're in it''. In Peter's experience you can make Glasgow what you want it to be and he illustrated his point by regaling the audience with the tale of his first day in Glasgow when he managed to hustle the keys to the old Classic Cinema building in Renfield Street and over the next two days managed to secure monetary funding for his project. A city of possibilities and potential he reaches his crescendo by reading an extract of 'A City' by archetypal Glasgow poet Edwin Morgan. 

What was all that then? - What? - That - That was Glasgow.
It's a film, an epic, lasts for, anyway
keep watching, it's not real, so everything is melting at the edges and could go

One more speaker to go and the spirit of Scotland and Glasgow is alive in every person in the room.  

Peter - fete accompli

Marion Samson

Last but not least came the turn of the wuman speaker with the apt introduction from Mr Colin Clydesdale as ‘the wee blonde burd wi’ the big baws’. And this was the exact subject of her address. Born and raised in Drumchapel, Marion, in her own words ‘didn’y huv a chip on [her] shooder but two bags a totties on each’. But, even as a ‘schemie wain’, managed to ‘stay defiant in a man’s world’ riding the corporate buses in the ‘80s to get to her office job where women weren’t allowed to wear trousers and had to sport tights or stockings. Marion, and others, flourished in Glasgow at a time where people wanted to make a difference. There was an air of defiance throughout the country – poll tax marches and the like proved that Glaswegians aw ‘had baws’ at this point in time.  Further to this, Glasgow seemed to be a place of change and equality and one of cultural renaissance – it had already hosted the Garden Festival in 1988 and, in 1990, went on to become the European City of Culture. Marion’s words drew fantastic parallels between the development and amelioration of Glasgow as a city and her as a person. The city of her youth showed and allowed her to ‘huv big baws’ and, therefore, to succeed. Glasgow is a lot of things but, according to Marion, it’s a tool, a learning curve, a teaching aid to life and, its heritage allows you to be the gutsy, audacious person you need to be to get on in this life. Thank you Glasgow!

And so the evening draws to a close and the question ‘What is Glasgow’ had been argued, agreed with, bickered with again, then reconciled, then quarrelled with again. One thing was agreed though – it’s bloody gallus – and if that’s not enlightenment thinking then I don’t know what is. A special mention should be made here about the exceptional food enjoyed at this very special night from the wonderful chefs at Stravaigin (who on that very day of The Cleikum Club’s first meeting won the highly acclaimed Bib Gourmand award from the Michelin Guide) and the fantastic drink kindly purveyed from Alliance Wine.

With every member having ganged thegither with the food, wine, whisky and each other – as life-long acquaintances have been formed and the rain lashin’ outside – why not wan more wee dram eh?

Be a part of the next Cleikum Club on December 1st at Stravaigin, Gibson Street. The topic will be 'The Future of Risk'. If you have any wee opinions, passions or yarns tae weave about it call 0141 334 2665 to get involved.

The Cleikum Review is being written right at this very moment and will be available to view soon